Hermione and the Chamber of Feminist Conundrums

Here.

*UPDATE*

A commenter on Twitter writes that I wrote a strawman characterization of feminism.
To which I reply: "A strawman argument? Are you suggesting Emma Watson is not a feminist? Or that Camille Paglia who I link to is not either?"To which he replies:"There is no "feminism" so much as there are "feminisms"—Multiple ways to approach and/or address the question of sex equality."

Maybe that's right. But if there is no feminism, how can I be giving a strawman characterization of feminism?  Answer: I can't. (As well, if that is right, then feminism is immune to both criticism and praise).  So there was no strawman characterization.  There was, however, a critique of a particular speech by a feminist which has been lauded with praise, apparently not due to the enlightening substance therein but for the platitudes.

So I've been hearing all this fuss and gushing praise about some great feminist speech Emma Watson gave.  Against my better judgment I decided to read it.  Scroll down here for full transcript.  Meh.  I'll comment on a few selections below and then point to my kind of feminist:

The more I spoke about feminism, the more I realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating.

Yeah, I can see that.

For the record, feminism by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes.

Well, that's ONE definition.  But that sure doesn't sound like feminism as practiced.  That just sounds like good 'ole Classical-Liberal legal egalitarianism, and who's objecting to that?  (Moreover is feminism a belief or a movement or a practice?  And why is there no mention of power or empowerment?)  We could certainly quibble, though, with the extent of reciprocal rights. For instance, I believe that men should have a legal right to be able to marry women, but I don't believe women should have that legal right. Conversely, I believe women should have the legal right to marry men, but that men should not have that right.  The devil is in the rights details.

When I was 8, I was called bossy because I wanted to direct a play we would put on for our parents. When at 14, I started to be sexualized by certain elements of the media. At 15, my girlfriends started dropping out of sports teams because they didn’t want to appear masculine. At 18, my male friends were unable to express their feelings.

Oh, dear.  Poor, famous, wealthy, powerful, Emma, talking at the UNITED NATIONS.

I decided that I was a feminist. This seemed uncomplicated to me. But my recent research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word. 

Well, maybe with some people it's an unpopular word but not with the media, political, higher education, elite ESTABLISHMENT.  You're in good company, Emma, and will go far.  (Wait, you already have gone far.  I got lost in the victimization).

I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts.  I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that will affect my life. I think it is right that socially, I am afforded the same respect as men

Yep.

I think it is right that I should be able to make decisions about my own body. 

Well, you have SOME rights to decide what you want to do with your body, but if you decide to take your body over to my house with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch I might have something to say about that.

I can say that there is no one country in the world where all women can expect to see these rights.

Uh-oh.  I think I hear "Imagine" starting to cue up in the background. NOT that song.  Oh PLEASE not that song!

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all see gender as a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals. We should stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by who we are. 

Wait. Didn't you just imply a few sentences ago that men are not sensitive and are not like women in this regard?  Isn't that defining them in terms of what they are not; aren't you implying that men should be more like women? WHO ARE WE, EMMA??

We can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom.

Can men be free to be masculine?  Free to be chivalrous?  Can I be free to offer critical and insensitive remarks about a public speech given by a famous, wealthy person?  Is that what you're advocating?

If you cast doubts when opportunity is presented to you, I hope those words will be helpful. Because the reality is if we do nothing, it will take 75 years or maybe 100 before women can expect to be paid the same as men for the same work. 

So WHAT IS IT that we're supposed to do exactly?  Give women the vote?  Check.  Make it such that they can start their own business?  Check.  Give them educational opportunities?  Check.  Make colleges such that more women are in them than men?  Check.  Talk about the evils of the sex trade in the media?  Check.  Amend the Constitution such that liberal justices can't define pornography as speech?  "Uh."  Speak truth to power about Islam and its oppression of women?  "Well..."  (And how much do YOU get paid for YOUR work?  Do you and other women aggressively ask for or demand raises?  Can you point to any unjust wage discrimination that's occurred to you as evidence?  Or is the wage gap not largely explained by unjust discrimination? Care to give an argument?)

If you believe in equality, you might be one of the inadvertent feminists I spoke of earlier and for this I applaud you. 

If you mean equal opportunities and so forth, then I guess I'm an inadvertent feminist, and I accept your applause.  But then who isn't an inadvertent feminist?  Muslims?

For my kind of hard-charging, no nonsense, anti-establishment, feminist heretic see here.