In this post I will attempt to prove that Obama is divine; more precisely, he is Jesus.
Premise 1:
Obama regularly says things again and again that seem patently false to ordinary people, but are said by Obama as if they were true. Moreover, he acts as if when he says or does something, that it is thereby true because he says it or lawful because he commands it.
Premise 2:
From 1, either Obama is a Liar, Lunatic, or Lord.
Premise 3:
Obama is not a liar. Just ask him. Or ask people that voted for him.
Premise 4:
He is not a lunatic. He was a lawyer before he was a Senator. One has to be sane to be a lawyer. And he's not a lying lawyer either (see premise 3).
Sub-Conclusion:
Obama is Lord. (from 1, 2, and 3)
Premise 5:
Jesus is Lord. (Assumption)
Premise 6:
Jesus was for the widows, orphans, and aliens. (Biblical inferences)
Premise 7:
WWJD? (A question is not technically a premise but whatever; it's my argument)
Premise 8:
If Jesus were President, he would grant amnesty to 5 million illegal aliens without congressional authorization because it's obvious that that is what God would do and Jesus is God. (from 5, 6, and 7)
Premise 9:
ARE YOU QUESTIONING GOD!? (irrefutable pseudo-assertion such that everything else follows)
Conclusion:
Obama is Jesus. QED
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