Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Beard Transplants

From the NY Post

It’s shear madness! Brooklyn’s hipster beard craze has grown so popular that men in New York are rushing to doctors for “facial hair transplants” — surgery that helps make beards look thicker and less patchy, sources said.
Stubble-challenged guys are forking over up to $8,500 for the beard-boosting procedure, which has spiked in popularity in recent months, plastic surgeons told The Post.
“Brooklyn is probably the nucleus of the trend, it’s the hipster ‘look’ guys want. If you have a spotty beard, and you let it grow out, it looks sloppy, ” said Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, a Midtown-based plastic surgeon.

“[Clients] want full beards because it’s a masculine look. Beards are an important male identifier,” he added.

Look, I appreciate the beard as well as the next man, but beard transplants?  Really?  Sure, you will look more manly and less boyish with a beard, but looking manly does not entail being manly (think of all the grown boys who drive around in giant trucks with obscene appendages hanging from them).  Let's not confuse the two.  Part of being a man is sucking it up and taking it like a man; so if God or nature has endowed you with a spotty beard or (alas) no beard at all, be a man and use your money in some other capacity as the good son or father that you are.

Having a beard as a fashion statement (like this guy) is another "m" word entirely, namely, metro-sexual, and we already have plenty of those:

One happy patient  is Danny, 27, whose beard used to be so patchy, he was forced to “fill it in” with an eyebrow pencil, he said.
Two years ago, he paid $8,500 for the surgery, which he considers a fashion statement.

An eye-brow pencil?  FOR SHAME.  Having said that, I do share just a bit of vicarious joy with the guy when he adds:

"It’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made.”

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