Happy Earth Day!

Five squirrels down and one more to go in order to rid my attic of short and medium term infestation.

Reducing Mother Earth's carbon pawprint one squirrel at a time!

What did you do today to prevent global catastrophe?

First They Came for the Socialists...

The Maverick's recent link to Robert Paul Wolff losing his mind brought to mind this delightful update on Niemöller's poem:

Twilight Zone

Your ship has finally returned to planet Earth.
The year is 2017.
The President of the United States is.....Donald Trump.
Marrying your first cousin is now illegal in 1/2 of the states.
Yet it is a federal crime for all states not to support gay "marriage" or to forbid killing all babies. Professors at Berkeley are still insane.
The Browns still have not won a Super Bowl.

Resist

Resist resisting resisting resisters. #resistresistance

New Drug for the Liberal Left

Gaunilo's Perfect Island

Dinner question: What would be your perfect birthday?

Sam (7): Hotel at Disney with a pool. Free rides. (Avalee (10) concurs. Malea (12) is absent at dance.  James Leonidas is too young and Spartan to answer).

Johno (5): A make-anything-machine as a present. (Good choice. He'll go far in life).

Me: Unfortunately I have none. Impossible. For any great birthday, I can conceive of one better.

Funny Story About a Conservative Catholic Priest

Unlike a number of my posts, this will take a conversational tone.  All names have been edited so that the people involved will remain anonymous.

There’s a guy I’ve known quite for over a decade but only over the internet.  He used to be Nazarene—thus our original connection since I attended a Nazarene school as an undergraduate—but converted to Catholicism.  Moderate-Conservative, catholic, philosophy professor (less conservative than I on economics but not by a ton), E.M.  Anyhow, I began seeing all of these hilariously funny, and sometimes completely politically incorrect memes that this guy shared [more un-PC than even I WOULD SHARE!] on E.M.'s Facebook wall and "friended" him a while ago, Father L from NY.  E.M. messaged me today about something else and somehow this guy comes up, Father L, because in the 70’s he went to Franciscan U. of Steubenville near where I grew up.  Here’s what E.M. said about Father L:

Fr. L went to Franciscan as an undergrad.

Very funny guy--he said once he was there at the beginning of the charismatic renewal.  He said everyone there was either part of that movement or there to belong to a drinking fraternity--he then paused and said, "I belonged to two fraternities myself."

He was a prison chaplain for a while.

I asked Fr. L if he had ever dated---he said, “Oh yeah--in fact, I think I was engaged for about 20 minutes at a bar one time."

Fr. L grew up in NYC, I think Brooklyn or the Bronx.  His dad and a few of his uncles/brothers/cousins (I can't remember the combo) were cops.  He said he was kind of pushed toward the priesthood because he was the runt of the litter, even though he is 6'5 and about 270. He says most of the cops in his family were 6'6 or taller.

One time after Mass [where he was the priest], in the basement for donuts and coffee, this somewhat unstable guy who attended from time to time (now deceased) started going into a liberal political diatribe with some old ladies who were trying to avoid him.

Fr. L asked him to cool it.

The guy refused and then starting saying, "No one here cares about the Holy saints!  They only care about Fox News and St. Bill O'Reilly!"

Fr. L said, "That's not true--we also commemorate St. Sean Hannity [who I [E.M.] actually don't like, but whatever]."

Then the guy kept going off and Fr. L walked up to him, purple in the face, and screamed,  “I said, 'Enough!!!!'  You will not come in and terrorize my sheep this way!"

When the guy started to back up, Fr. L said, "I HAVE COMMANDED YOU--SHUT UP OR LEAVE THIS HOLY CHURCH!"

Then the guy stomped off, and Fr. L turned back to a young couple with a now terrified child in their arms, to whom he had been talking originally, and said very calmly, "Now, where were we?"

Then he saw the mortified child and said, "What’s the matter, little one, haven't you ever heard mommy and daddy yell before?"  To which they said, "Well, not quite like that."

My wife was there and was very impressed, though.

Obama Guevara

[Photo here]

“The Negro is indolent and spends his money on frivolities and drink, the European is forward-looking, organized and intelligent…The Negro has maintained his racial purity by his well known habit of avoiding baths."  ~Che Guevara, Motorcycle Diaries. 

I'm actually old enough to remember when U.S. presidents actively opposed communism rather than posing in front of murderous communist thugs which won't pose a problem with their base.  How much do you want to bet that "Black Lives Matter" doesn't protest over this at all? 

Change of Plans

I changed my mind!  I'm voting for Trump!

Title: "Either Way, We're Screwed"

Humor: Brothers, Girlfriends, and Romantics

My 7-yr-old son (Samuel) was teasing my 5-yr-old son (Jonathan) about someone being Jonathan's "girlfriend."

My wife intervened and said "Jonathan, ignore him, you are SO sweet, any girl would be lucky to have you."

Samuel: "Hey, what about me? I cry at movies!"

Humorous Story About Scalia

...as told by Ted Cruz.

Justice Scalia’s clerks, like the justice himself, tended to have an edge. They were wickedly smart, engaging and had no problem wielding sharp elbows when warranted. Scalia himself had a mischievous sense of humor. One famous Scalia story—there are many—occurred during the 1980s, when Reagan was president and considering appointments to the court. Everyone knew that two of the stars on the conservative side, and thus possible nominees, were Robert Bork and Scalia, both on the D.C. Circuit. So one day Scalia was walking in a parking garage at the appellate court when two U.S. marshals stopped him. “Sorry, sir,” one of them said. “We’re holding this elevator for the attorney general of the United States.”

Scalia pushed past them, entered the elevator, and pressed a button. As the doors closed, Scalia shouted out, “You tell Ed Meese that Bob Bork doesn’t wait for anyone!” 

And, as it happens, Scalia was nominated to the court by President Reagan in 1986.

Funniest Thing I've Seen All Week

Funniest Thing I've Seen All Week

Obama Donation

This is truly remarkable.

Climate Change Believer

An absolutely beautiful day in mid-south Arkansas.  High of about 72 and low of 53.  It was so warm that we heard the lovely chirping (aka croaking) of our neighborhood frogs in the woods.  In January!

So I walked out toward the woods in search of the frogs.  What could be causing them to sound off so early in the year?  Low and behold I discovered the cause.  There it was, to my horror.  A huge CARBON FOOTPRINT as evidence!

I've never been a denier.

Now no longer am I a skeptic.

I believe in Big Foot.

Socialist Prices

All this talk about Bernie Sanders' socialist healthcare plan brings to mind the following from soviet Gorbachev's press secretary:

When asked about his dream for mankind, the secretary replied that he hoped to see all of the world embrace socialism, except for New Zealand. “But why not New Zealand?” a reporter wondered. “Well,” the secretary responded, “we will need someone to get the prices from.”

Winning the Lottery

True Story

Sent to me by a blog follower:

Tyrone was having trouble in school.

His teacher was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy,Tyrone, can't you learn anything!!?

One day Tyrone's mother came to school to check on how he was doing.  The teacher told her honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career.  The mom was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit relocating to Cleveland.

Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable  cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have open-heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was remarkably successful.

When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly died.

The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly. Then he turned around and saw that our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the Clinic, had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner.

If you thought Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon, there is a high likelihood that you will vote for Hillary Clinton!

Cruz Commander